|Me experiencing being a giant in Cath Kidston, Picadilly, yesterday...|
I am someone who has always wanted to live above my means, I am entirely materialistic and just want ALL THE THINGS. This is a trait I've had all my life from wanting the latest Barbie to earning the reputation of shopaholic among my colleagues - I have an issue with wanting what I can't have.
I've always been guilty of living in a bit of a fairytale world, even if that world has become more cynical over the years. I experience no greater thrill than shopping and browsing those aisles and rails of clothes, shoes, bags and make-up - filled with desire.
But this has often got me into trouble, especially now that I live on my own and have to pay for things like rent, bills and food. After all these living expenses, there's not an awful lot left for shopping. But this often doesn't stop me and my spare money to get me through the month is often mostly blown in the first week.
You'd think after five months of this cycle, that I would learn my lesson and learn how to me more responsible with money - but no. It's the same story every month. It's a bloody good deal that I don't have a credit card or a large overdraft because I would be screeeewed.
So as you can imagine, when I went to London yesterday to meet up with my best mate Zoe and get my fix of retail therapy that I was wracked with temptation. We didn't help matters by visiting three of the most expensive and luxurious stores in the city - Selfridges, Liberty of London and Fortnum & Mason.
I was surrounded by gorgeous products out of my price range or far more than I could justify paying but it was all so easy on the eyes and was the kind of window shopping I could get on board with while I dreamt of one day being wealthy enough to load my basket here as if it were no issue at all. Now it's fairly likely that I will never be rich enough to own items like these but a girl can dream.
However, I did treat myself to some Laura Mercier make-up and some Fortnum & Mason tea - because a girl has to have some glamour in her life. Amirite?
I wonder what life is like for these people who can afford to buy whatever they like, whenever they like. Do they appreciate it? Do they pine for anything? Will I ever earn enough to go on a massive guilt free shopping spree or do I just need to be more sensible then have a big splurge?
While I continue to try and be sensible with money and failing miserably, it seems I'll always have that one week of luxury and three to four weeks of poverty for the foreseeable future. Because I want all the things. I want lovely new clothes and lovely make-up. Perhaps it's because I'm lonely and don't have much else to fill my life with. Perhaps it's the whole desire to replicate celebrity culture or the culture we are bombarded with by bloggers and magazines. Perhaps it was five years of only child syndrome when I was spoilt. Perhaps it's a multitude of all those things. But I know I'm not alone.