Sunday, 7 June 2015

Quarter-Life Crisis

Has it really been over five months since I last blogged? This year has gone in such a blur, I can hardly believe its June already but yet it's not like my life has exactly been a whirlwind either.

I spent the majority of the year so far counting down to my birthday trip to New York, which I suppose made me wish most of the year away. It was worth it though, as visiting New York for the second time in my life reminded me how much I love that beautiful city.

I instantly feel at home in New York and I truly believe it is my spiritual home! I love how it's set out and all the districts with their own personalities, I love the grid system and I love the sheer abundance of shops and beautiful places to eat. The week I spent in New York was one of the fastest of my life but also one of the best.

I've always been a city girl, despite living my life in the country. There's something about the constant buzz, abundance of things to see and do, new trends and the 24/7 lifestyle that speaks to me. Perhaps living in places that were lacking behind the times and didn't have as many options always gave me the sense of missing out as I read about the exciting things happening in cities as I flicked through magazines.

Since my trip to New York, I've had huge post New York blues. I really didn't want to come home at all and my heart is aching for the Big Apple! If anything, it's put me face to face with the reason I wanted to distract myself with a trip to New York in the first place…I turned 25.

I'm sure in about 5 years, I will be scathing at myself, like I do when I see my old posts from when I was 20 and how I said I was 'so old'. But no 20 year old Stacey, give yourself 5 years and you will be at the turning point of 'old'. 25 reminds me that I am a quarter of a century and that life is in fact going rather fast. It also puts me on the side of my twenties that edges ever closer to the dreaded 30.

The first part of your twenties is relatively fun, you're enjoying the mix of enthusiastic youth as well as adult responsibility as you enjoy your freedom years and deal with finding your feet. But when you hit 25, you're face to face with life goals you set yourself and how fast time goes. Before you know it, you'll be hitting your thirties and needing to get your life together.

Something you do learn in your twenties is that having life goals is very pointless. We were always taught to think about where we wanted to be in five or ten years but the truth is, life doesn't work that way. You're not going to have everything figured out and solved at these milestone points of your life.

The problem with our generation is that we are our bombarded with other people's lives as they play out on social media across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. We can't help but compare ourselves as we see old friends, school friends and university friends achieving or experiencing things we want for ourselves.

I'm guilty of this, I seethe like anybody else as I see old friends appearing to have their lives together and sorted as they share pictures from beautiful holidays, their weddings and their new families while I remain single and living in a studio flat with no real social life.

But the thing to remember, and I am so often told this, is that people are only often sharing the best parts of their lives on screen. It's an edited version of the story and we don't know what other difficulties or issues that could be facing. It's a similar story for those of us who follow and idolise the stars of YouTube. You're only seeing so much of their lives.

If I and anybody else of my generation needs to learn anything, it's that we can't live our lives to a plan. We have to just work hard and hope for the best and make things happen for ourselves. It's impossible to keep up with everyone and while sometimes it seems like everybody else has the luck we all have our own opportunities and struggles.

Maybe life is just going to take a little longer, a little more work and a little more determination for me. But maybe that's for the best, it's going to make me appreciate things more when I do have them. I've enjoyed the independence I have and it's probably made me a better and stronger person because of it.

But let's not wish our lives away, let's enjoy every day and make things happen for ourselves. I decided I wanted adventure, so I went to New York. I saved and planned and made it happen. The same will happen if I want to travel anywhere else this year, which I plan to do.

It's so easy to be bitter and jealous and watch our lives go idly by, but what kind of life is that?