Wednesday, 9 February 2011

I don't want kids ok?

I'm sorry it's been a while, but I have an insane amount of uni work to do. Third year is a bitch of epic proportions. Then if I'm not doing that I'm procrastinating or sleeping.

OK, so today's blog is a bit of a rant. I often find myself in feminist arguments with my largely non-feminist flatmates. But I find myself in the same argument with a lot of people; flatmates, family and mostly mother.

It seems, in the 21st century, where women are more powerful than ever, working their way up the career ladder, running businesses and generally taking over the world, it is still taboo for a women not to have that maternal gene.

If a woman declares she doesn't want children, she is looked at in shock and if she's young like me, told she'll change her mind. Is it almost impossible for people to understand why a woman would rather have a great career than a house, a husband and 2.4 children.

Don't get me wrong, I like children, I adore my niece and nephew. However, I have no desire to have children of my own. Selfish it may be, but I don't have the time, patience or energy. The best thing about other people's children is that I can give them back.

My life ambitions are more focused around getting a great career than getting married and having children. I want to achieve a great position on a magazine, and that takes time, energy and commitment. I don't want to have to take off maternity leave and risk my job. I don't want to hardly see my kids or form no real relationship with them, because I'm never there.

It is possible to be a powerful woman and have children, there are editors of women's magazines with children. I'm not saying you can't have one without the other. You can. But I want the freedom to do what I want, when I want to. If I have the offer of a trip to New York, I want to be able to take it.

I could never be a woman that gives up her freedom and job for a man. I've worked hard my entire life and I don't intend on spending my days cooking, cleaning and greeting my husband when he gets in from work. It would send me insane.

As much as I enjoy expensive things, I don't think I'd be content with being a kept woman, it would get incredibly boring. I wouldn't want to have to rely on a man. Surely there is more joy in working hard, saving money and buying something great for yourself. That sense you earned it, rather than owe someone.

Who knows. Maybe everyone will be right, and I may end up with children. But for now, I really can't see it. It's never been a desire of mine to have children. It is possible for a woman not to have that desire, and she shouldn't be demonised for it. It doesn't make her heartless, it just makes her different. Times have changed, and women should be able to feel like they're life is still fulfilled if they don't have children or a husband.

As long as a woman is happy with life, should it matter? A man isn't demonised for not wanting children. I hope to find a man that doesn't expect out of date conventions from me. Women have brains and are capable of making their own decisions. I shouldn't have to say "Oh you want a child? OK, I'll have one, my hearts not in it, but sure...I'll give up my life if that's what you want."

Call me selfish and heartless, but it's my decision if I decide to pro-create.