"Because we are living in a material world and I'mma material girl."
We live in a material society where it's all about what you have and how much you have and I will freely admit I am a materialistic person. I live in a tiny studio flat, yet it is cluttered with things and I'm pretty sure if I don't stop soon it's going to look like an episode of hoarders.
Throughout my life, I never stop wanting. Whether I'm dreaming of visiting yet another place on my travelling list, lusting after the latest collection in Topshop, dreaming of Chanel or just want another bargain DVD to add to my ever-growing collection - my life revolves around stuff and the getting of it.
Currently on my top list of lust is a trip to New York, a shabby chic dressing table and Babyliss Curl Secret. I've decided I'm going to try and start saving month by month for the New York trip but that throws out the other two lusts and means months of strict savings ahead of me.
Now I know I need to see the bigger picture here, and that those months of hard work will lead to visit my favourite city once again and go on a mega spending spree - but it's going to be hard to remember that in the following months when I desperately try to save my money.
I'm coming across rather spoilt, I know it's not possible to have everything you want in life, but I can't help lusting. Some people are quite content with very little in their life, but I just want ALL THE THINGS.
Some people become alcoholics, some take drugs, some binge eat and others shop. I fall into that shopping category. I use the buying of things to fill the little space inside of me that isn't content, but like all quick fixes - it does't last for long. That emptiness appears again and you need some shiny thing to make you all smug again.
This leads to me face the same situation every month, where ridiculously early after payday, I find myself with very little money to take me through the rest of the month. It simply vanishes - but the truth is - I've spent it.
Now I have very little spare money anyway and unexpected costs like 'that bill you forgot about' or needing to pay out for new specs can lead to an unexpected dent in your spare money and not help the money situation much more.
The issue is - I live alone, I don't get to see friends much and my family are busy - so often I'm left with little to do and the only way to fill my time is shopping or internet browsing. Or lay on the sofa in frustration.
Shopping fills a void and fills me with things that make me happy like pretty dresses, gorgeous shoes, beautiful bags, cute homeware and gripping books and DVDs. But how long is that hole really filled and how much will it take until I'm content? Will I ever be? Until I get that Chanel 2.5 bag or Mulberry Alexa? Louboutin shoes or a whole counter of designer make up? Where does it end?
Thankfully, I don't go completely without. I have supportive family and have been fairly spoilt in my time. With lovely christmas gifts or ongoing debt - but I can't help but feel jealous when I see others with what I still lust for.
I know this materialism needs to go on the back burner and that to enjoy truly great things that you have to save and earn them. I just wish society would make it a tad easier and I had other stuff in my life to keep me distracted or a 6 figure salary.
So the challenge awaits - can the splurger save?