Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Reasons why it would be quite nice to have a boyfriend.

I tend to avoid writing blogs about boys. I find it hard enough to pull, without scaring them off.

However, having been single for far too long, and having too much time by myself. I have drummed up some excellent reasons, why having a boypeice around would be rather helpful. Now of course, I'm an independent woman and I don't need a man to make me complete, but there are some things you can't do alone.

Firstly, I would have a man around to do manly jobs, that I'm too weak for. I am highly unfit with pathetic weak arms, which poses a great challenge when I go shopping. I dread ever buying heavy items like potatoes and juice, because walking back feels like a marathon. Every moment, I am paralysed with fear that the weak carrier bag will split because the shop assistant has displayed an amazing ability to fit everything in one bag. In the event I had a boyfriend, he could display his manly ability to carry heavy items. Even in the event it was quite heavy for him, men being men, I highly doubt he would display this and would carry on with the job in hand.

Secondly, it wouldn't be quite so scary walking back from a night out. Walking with a boy means I'm much less likely to get cat calls from weird pervy old men. When left to walk alone in the dark, I walk at the speed of light. This would save an awful lot of leg work if I had a nice gentleman to walk me home. Another quite useful use of a boyfriend, would be as transportation during said night out, when my tiny feet can't take the piercing pain of heels anymore, a piggy back is at hand.

Moving on, there really isn't anything better than a big man hug. Having some nice toned arms around you, feels like the safest and best place in the world. However, this hug would have to require effort, there really isn't anything worse than a half arsed hug.

Most men are also quite good at technical things. While scart leads and the TV menu leave me dreadfully lost, the male species displays an uncanny ability to master these electrical nuisances.

Possibly one of the best reasons would be that I would have an excellent excuse to drive off unwanted male attention from the many weirdos that reside in clubs and bars. Yes, I do realise I can lie and say I'm taken, but I'm an awful liar and it would actually be nice for that to be true for once.

I do realise I'm being very naive, and this mythical boyfriend I've dreamt up rarely exists. However, wouldn't it be nice? Until then, I think I'm going to have to invest in a granny trolley, so buying potatoes doesn't have to be the bane of my life. Yet this purchase may eradicate my chances of attracting the opposite sex altogether.

3 Reasons why men are a complete mystery.

1. There are so many hidden rules- Don't text too much, Don't text til your texted, Play it cool.
2. You pretty much have to treat them like rubbish for them to like you.
3. In the words of Katy Perry- They're hot then they're cold.

No comments:

Post a Comment